In the eye of the storm....

The Shit storm that is. Do you ever have the moment when you really expect the light to shine down from above and to hear a choir singing because the obvious just smacked you in the face? I had that revelation today. Apparently said revelation was explained to me on friday, but a few wine coolers and my light-weight ass didn't hear it. (Yes, I am embarassed to say that I do not think I could drive home after one Harry's captain and coke anymore. In my prime I use to be able to function on two or three.)
Well the obvious smacked me in the face regardless of what day. Now that I have the information, how do I choose to use it is the question. Good thing I have another 5 days or so to ponder it and get my pisstivities out of my system. I do admit that when I am wronged, I can be a bit.......brash.
Even though my plans for the week have not exactly been followed, such as the intended working out. I have been more sleeping on the couch than working out. I blame this mostly on the fact that for the last 2 days I have sat in front of an industrial sized fan and my eyes feel like sandpaper. The days were also so grueling that when I look up at the clock I expect it to be at least 1 or 2pm and it was....11:30am. Sigh. Hopefully tomorrow goes a wee bit faster. At least I will be in a place where the urge to open my fat mouth will be lessened. On the down side, it will be harder to place my foot in it when I have a surgical mask on...............hmmmmm......with the ambient noise of 8 million things running, I will have three attempts to say something before anyone actually hears it. I think I might be safe tomorrow...fingers crossed.
Thanks Krista! You are my one and only admitted follower.

28 days to go.....

But that is beside the point. I wasn't going to blog tonight, but after watching Deadliest Catch and crying for a half hour, I decided to go ahead and say a little something.

Captain Phil Harris and Family: We have welcomed you into our homes every Tuesday night, we have rooted for you, took pity on your cold asses, and laughed at the random acts of awesome pranks. I think we are all waiting with bated breath even though we know the final outcome. It is overwhelming to see the effect it has taken over the fleet as the news spreads of Phil's condition. It is both heartwarming and devasting to see the fleet pull together, Jonathan to take the boys under his wing, and Freddie to push Josh to do the right thing. I know it sounds like I know them all personally but I think all of us, who watch the show regularly, are still emotional when watching the actual events. Phil, may the crab fart bubbles be with you. The show will not be the same without you....

Anyone who follows this should read the tribute Mike Rowe wrote:

http://www.mikeroweworks.com/2010/02/captain-phil/

Meanwhile in rotten puppy news, Phoebe decided to injure herself somehow and is now on restricted activity and Metacam. Luckily, she is easily distracted by rawhides. This picture may have been taken in the snow, but Indy 500 laps are a regular occurence.
Heaven help me if it turns out to be something more serious, it is like trying to contain a lit firecracker, loud and dangerous!

29 days to go....

Yep, the official countdown begins. I am already losing my will to fight, not that I am giving up, no way, no how. I am just wondering if I should do any confrontations. I guess I have a week to think about it. Something you may all not know about me is that I have a temper. I am getting better at keeping it under control and professional, but if I have been known to snap from time to time (all my friends that are reading this are probably laughing out loud). I am afraid that once I hear the false or greatly distorted accusations that are floating around that I might just bitch-slap somebody....probably not a good idea.

I blame my dad for my temper. He has one too, one greatly similar to mine...which is why when we fight, it is a doozey. We have learned this and also learned that time away from each other is the best way to mend fences.

Mom always brings up the time that I yelled at the Ford guy. My escort (beloved car at the time) kept having horn issues...in fact the horn would only work when going around a curve. Not very useful. Also I believe the check engine light was constantly coming on. Anyhoo, I had taken it to a dealer in bloomington repeatedly for them to "fix it." The last straw was the 16th billion time they had it and decided they wanted to keep it for awhile to look for a part or some nonsense. They claimed they had FINALLY figured out the source of the issues. Now as a teenager, your car = your independence, especially in Bloomfield when all you did was cruise in your car. So I was mad and called the repair guy...I basically asked him why it took him 16 billion times to find the problem and to put my car together, I was coming to get it. Mom claims I made Bob cry. (that was his name). I don't know because we never saw or heard from Bob again. I did get my car back and fixed very quickly. They say nothing is worse than a woman scorned, try a hormonal teenager losing their freedom. Yeah, it wasn't pretty. I am sure my BFF, family, and ex-roommates can also come up with some wonderful stories portraying my wonderful temper, but let's not try. Let's just say I have almost out-grown my hateful streak. Almost.

So do I or do I not request a private meeting? I am giving myself 6 more days before I send the email request. I guess it is just the question of do I go down swinging or with my dignity....because I am pretty sure I probably won't go down swinging with my dignity. Everyone send your positive thoughts and prayers this way! They must be working because I had zero inclination to hurt anyone at Muffin today, which is definitely saying a lot! I actually complimented people...gasp! This, however, does not make me immune from making petty comments, rolling my eyes, or blatant harassing tomorrow.

Now I must go play with my puppy (only a puppy until saturday, sniff sniff) in this gorgeous weather. Enjoy the puppy pic!

A woman's right to sleep...

PLEASE! All I want to do is sleep. But it is 2am and here I am writing aimlessly. I tried watching Sex and the City hoping to feel empowered somehow, but instead it makes me feel even more inadequate. I do not possess the tenacity to stand up for myself. I have always thought of myself as a strong willed person, but lately I have been pulling the opossum approach and playing dead until it is over. Is it over yet?

What brought this all to mind? I guess it begins on friday. Do you ever have those encounters where you are taken so off guard that you are speechless? I was confronted on friday, completely blindsided, and could do nothing more than fake smile, nod and sign my name. When the part came up if I had any questions, they could probably here the wind blowing through my ears. My mind was mush. It doesn't help that it was friday afternoon after a particularly grueling week both physically and mentally. I was even having trouble coming up with words in everyday conversation. It is like when someone tells you a phone number and you hear the numbers but the process of it actually getting written down correctly seems to get jumbled somewhere between brain and fingertips. My everyday tasks on friday felt like a whole phone book being dictated to me by an auctioneer. After my incomplete murmuring that resembled "no I don't have any questions." I was left to my own devices for the weekend...BAD IDEA. Step one: Call my BFF and cry. Step two: go to the chiropractor....and cry. Step three: go to the neighbors and trade alcohol for smokes....and cry. Step four: numb. Now that the numbness has worn off and having had some insightful conversations with some confidants, I have come up with a whole plethora (do you even know what a plethora is?? Name that movie bitches.) of questions, retorts, and scenarios. Of course I will filter most of these through my internal filter (which I sometimes lack) and filters of those select few in on my situation. But damn, don't you, just once, want to say: "Listen Bitches, let me tell you what you don't know." I learned the "Listen Bitch" part from my dad. He said that will get anyone's attention. Probably true, but not the best idea. He also taught me "Dos Frios Cervezas" will work in any country, I have yet to test that theory as well . We will move away from the topic of my dad, because that makes me feel even more like a failure....

SO here I am, up late (or early), while my sweet children are taking over my bed. They are definitely sweet when they are asleep. I hoping this to be the first step in Project Happy Amy. (Maybe in daylight I will come up with a better name.) My moves include the following: write down any ideas/questions/or crap that bothers me, find out what is the most pertinent, brainstorm every night before bed, keep a notepad by my bed, read my devotional, pray for strength, and wake up with my head held high, listen to something really empowering (Maybe Single Ladies?? It worked for Kurt.), and by golly slap a sickening sweet fake-ass smile on my face and then come home and hug my BDD (big dumb dog) and watch Phoebe be her idiot self. I will then enjoy my TV, workout and try to get some sleep. Repeat the following for 30days and cross my fingers. God and my friends will get me through this.

Sigh.................

The conversation went as follows:

Me."I am glad he is leaving because he is slowly dying inside."

My BFF. "So are you."

Huh. There are some things that only best friends can tell you. This is one of them. Granted it wasn't spelled out in frosting on top of a cake or in cheese on top of a pizza but I got the point. Work is killing my spirit. I hate my job. I get that knot in my stomach starting sunday night, dreading going to work for 5 days. I hate the everyday struggle. I hate the fact that everyday I feel like a lowly peon who caters to everyone's wishes. I hate the fact that I am so exhausted by the end of the day that all I can do is curl up in the fetal position on the couch and feel sorry for my dogs because their mom is too tired to do anything with them. Not only physically tired but emotionally tired as well. I try going to bed early thinking that i just need more sleep, tomorrow will be better but then I lay in bed dreading the next horrible day. I can't say that I have ever been a happy, happy, joy, joy, person, but whatever happy and joy that use to be in me is currently gone. Last year I referred to this feeling as my "career mid-life crisis." But what exactly can you do when you are in a career mid-life crisis? What is the career equivalent of a red convertible that I am entirely too old for?? Or the younger man that makes people wonder if I am robbing the cradle?? Do I get fancy Prada scrubs or Gucci crocs? There is nothing but a career change, which is not feasible in this economic climate. I would love to be a radiology technician since I figured that I am already sterile at this point, but that would include going back to school which equals spending more money with no income. Another idea down the crapper. And I only have good things to look forward to: such as my two rocks are leaving for bigger and better things. Though the one rock needs to leave (he is the one who is dying inside.) The other one, isn't going far, but has learned long ago to just check out. I tried that. But I can't. I just wish i could. I miss the job that I loved.

A woman's right to be THANKFUL!!

Yep, you read that correctly. We have gotten pounded with some pretty severe storms in the past couple of days, and last night we got close to 4 inches of water in less than 24 hours. I woke up this morning to about 4inches of water standing in my back porch (which is enclosed). That water had no where to go but into my basement....ugh. Hence me being thankful. After these super storms, I am thankful that I still had power and a roof over my head and a basement to go into in case there are tornados. I realize how super thankful I am that I don't have animals that get super stressed with storms. Dudley loves them, how could you not?? TO him it is a giant sprinkler complete with a light show! Lola is scared of everything so I can't really base anything on her "normal" behavior. Phoebe started getting a little restless about hour 8 of the storms and moved from under the covers to under the bed, no big deal. And Chaplin is only scared of the weather radio. Yep, him and NOAA are on a hate/hate relationship. I swear if these storms keep up, I will have to either put earplugs in Chaplin or put him on prozac, otherwise he WILL have a heart attack. I had a dog before who was deathly afraid of storms and for good reason. I was home alone with my childhood dog during a storm when the lightpole in front of my house got struck by lightning. The lightning went through the house and blew up a tree in the backyard. Pete (yep we are real original on the names) had been laying against our sliding glass window when it happened and we think he got shocked, because for awhile he would avoid the window. Later he must have realized it was the storms because he could hear thunder miles away and would start to panic and attach himself to me (since I was home when it happened). Every once in awhile, when it is storming, I still find myself hanging my arm over the side of the bed like I had to when he was around. Pete was the bestest dog ever and I plan to write about him sometime. But again, I stray.
So the rugs in my basement were soaked, keeping the water from getting to the drains. My plan? Go to work, get what I needed done and snag some squeegees. I also called Leah who came to help me drag hairy soaking wet carpet up the snot slick stairs. I am thankful to have great friends to help me in time of crisis. I am also thankful that I work at a place that has giant squeegees.
I am thankful that nothing electrical was damaged, it could have ended very badly if the electrical box had gotten wet. I am also happy that I took my laundry basket of clean clothes up the stairs last night otherwise I would have had a lot more to clean. So all in all, it could have been A LOT worse. Everyone around here and their chinese half-brother Colin are flooded so at least I am not alone on this plight! Stay safe! Enjoy the family photo!

A woman's right to be a geek..

Or Gleek.
The gleek is what inspired this post. I listen to the Glee Soundtracks in the shower. No one can hear me sing and the acoustics are amazing. It is a great pick me up in the morning! (when I remember to turn it on.)
I also consider myself a geek for the following reasons:
I love to read
I have tons of books I haven't even read yet
I kept a lot of my old text books
I buy text books at yard sales
I have a Wii and a DS
I have a blog
I have a room in my house dedicated to the Nightmare before Christmas (that just might make me creepy!)
And all my DVDs and CDs are alphabetized and I take great pride in that.
Short post, but I am off...
Embrace your inner Gleek and sing in the shower!

I'm Pissed..continued....

Why am I still ranting?? Because I have come to the gross realization that being an adult SUCKS. I love owning a house and a car. But when it comes to choosing right over wrong, it still sucks. Why am I still obsessed about this concert?? I don't know. I had no notion of going until last week, but the idea of going with a really good friend and starting our tradition again sounds soooo like something I need right now. Maybe I am jealous that the people who were jealous of me being able to go are now there enjoying the concert and I'm not. Maybe it will erase the phone calls I have had to make this week to my co-workers saying "I'm sorry, I can't come in, I am exploding out of both ends." Good-bye dignity (okay I actually lost my dignity after my first colonoscopy). I found tickets online for the concert tomorrow. They are a little bit more expensive than the ones from tonight. Here are the pros: Last concert until 2012, pavillion seats, sold out show that I found tickets for, and it's Dave. Here are the cons: I would have to find someone (risking they might never speak to me again) to watch the dogs, driving there and parking (ugh), and I do not have the money to buy two tickets which I would have to do in order for someone to go with me. Yes and being spoiled as I am, I called and asked dad to buy them for me. He said he would....which makes me feel even worse. I, in no way shape or form, NEED to go. Yes I would be happy seeing dorky dancing Dave onstage, but I can go see local bands tomorrow for $10 and hang with some good friends and come home to my bed and still retain all my friends since a pet-sitter is not needed. I know the right answer and it still sucks but I am sure in the long run, I will know I have made the right choice. I am just hoping that good feeling of doing the responsible thing comes soon.....like tomorrow.

I'm Pissed...it is my right.

I am very disappointed at the fact that I am not currently at the DMB concert. I have been looking forward to it for a week now. But two days ago I learned a very important lesson. Do not order mayo on a sandwhich that is delivered in 90 degree weather. Mayo was a BAD idea. Lets just say that the next morning the phone conversation with my mom went as follows...
Me: "MOM, how do I clean vomit out of the shower?"
Mom: "ummmm, ewwwww, just run the shower for a really long time and hope for the best."
Thanks for the motherly advice.
That was thursday morning. It is now friday night, when I should be at the Dave concert, but I am instead typing on this blog that no one reads.
While I am drinking my gatorade and eating cheez-its I am comforting myself by the fact that it is a tornado over Deer Creek right now. Even though our seats aren't in the lawn, I would still have to walk through the mud back to the car. It isn't really helping, but there is not much I can do now. There is no way I could have drove there without pulling over every 30minutes and exploding and I would have just had to take up residence in the nasty Deer Creek bathrooms. Still not very fun. Guess I will watch The Soup and pray for a rain date. I will instead look forward to going to the Taste of Tippecanoe tomorrow with the Mikes and watching the W.T. Feaster band. I have never been to the Taste and who doesn't love fireworks?!? On the plus side, I got to watch Rent today on TV. Yes, I know I own it on DVD, but that would have been too much effort. So I will end with my favorite lyric:
To days of inspiration, playing hookey, making something out of nothing, the need to express, to communicate, to going against the grain, going insane, going mad.
P. S. I was NOT playing hookey, if I was, do you really think I would be sitting at home and not at the Dave Concert right now?!?! Yep, I am going to be bitter about this for awhile.

A woman's right to a non-horrible day

Yep, you read the headline correctly. This isn't a complaining blog..at least not too much. Granted I am tired, I ache all over (for no apparent reason), I need to mow my lawn, my house is a mess, and I am trying to figure out exactly what time I can go to bed and the dogs won't eat me in my sleep or pee on the floor. All in all though, today was not a horrible day. We had some out of town physicians come in and do some amazing work. I also learned some fascinating facts:
These two men were referring to the vagina as a Virginia. (grown men)
The female organs are referred to as the "organs of darkness."
In Australia the term fanny actually means the Virginia, so fanny pack takes on a whole new meaning.
Also in Australia the term "root" (as in for the home team) means to have sex and to use the term "I am stuffed' (like full of food) also refers to being screwed. Good to know.
The men were doing some laparoscopic procedures which involved passing by the "organs of darkness" which I guess spurred the rest of the conversation. Throughout the whole procedure I was having flashbacks of 1.) Innerspace and 2.) the scene in Scrubs where Turk gets lost using a scope and the assistant keeps telling him to turn around or ask for directions. Which actually re-instates the fact the my life, indeed, does revolve around television.
But today was an okay day. I am hoping friday is a good day. I am going to see my future husband on stage, yep, Dave Matthews, I heart him so. I also get to hang out with a good friend from Tech School who I haven't seen in forever. Hopefully I don't lose two friends in the process, since Leah and Kevin are taking the pups for the evening. Oh, Phoebe, please be on your best behavior, which still isn't saying much. Fingers crossed for them.

A woman's right to a bad day

Bad days. Everyone has them. How you choose to deal with the bad days is a different story? Sometimes you just need to have a tantrum. Yes, I am an adult, and I still have tantrums. These tantrums usually occur in the privacy of my own house and are immediately followed by crying and then a huge sense of relief.
Lets just say that all the atmospheric pressures have been ideal for the impending tantrum. I have been getting up early and staying late for work, back pain, and humidity. It was only a matter of time before I found my self in the midst of tantrum land. What pushed me over the edge was my computer freezing up and stopping last night. All I really wanted to do was get on here and post a happy blog, something which to cheer me up and not involve bitching about something....but the computer was the last turn on the way to meltdown land.
What is an adult woman's version of a tantrum?? Mine usually involves throwing something (soft and not breakable) and about 24 hours of inner dialogue lashing out at complete strangers. For example I wanted to turn and yell something about personal space at the lady standing 2 inches away from me in Payless today. What was she in such a hurry for?? SHE WAS BUYING FUNNOODLES. 2 of them. But she proceeded to stand on top of me and sigh while I paid for my three items. Anyhoo, instead of yelling the obscenities at her that were floating around in my head, I just turned and glared at her. I am pretty sure my glares are very noneffective. I doubt they are the withering, crawl-back-into-the-hole-from-whence-you-came-from look which I feel I am portraying....probably more like a stink eye that goes unrecognized (Delilah would be so disappointed in me). Ugh. I wish when I feel myself happen unto these moods, I could deal with them like an adult. But that whole idea flies right out the window, so I at least attempt to wait until I am in private to melt-down. The ideal way (in my mind) to deal with these moods would be similar to a character I played on stage in The Nerd. She would deal with stress by putting plates inside her purse and beating them with a hammer. It was very effective and a great way to relieve stage fright. How could you not love beating the crap out of a plate in front of a cafeteria full of people?? But that isn't so handy now. I am not going to put one of my Mickey Mouse plates (yep, I said Mickey mouse) inside my Coach purse and break it. Not to mention, the lack of audience may let me down too. So my meltdown goes as follows, I throw something non-breakable (learned that lesson before) at a door, stomp around the house, cry, and go to bed. Not mature, but effective. This relieves the initial tension of said tantrum though I must say the inner dialogue with idiot strangers may continue for a day or two. (Aren't people just getting dumber?!?!?!) I also find working alone (if at work) doing simple tasks like prepping a room for surgery helps as well. I do tend to focus on the most minute things when doing this though, like the 100ft long data cable that I untangled and wiped clean of blood and contrast today. I am sure it will be a big ball of Christmas vacation lights again tomorrow but it looked so pretty when I left today. Of course this was after my mini meltdown at work when I couldn't win against a stupid portable cage, which to find out, was not my own dumbassness. No one can move the portable cage without help. Either way, I had my mini meltdown in private and accomplished clean surgery room and data cable only to walk into my office and see my corpse of a computer sitting there. Which re-instates the panic. Did I not mention the panic when my computer died? Yeah see, I panicked when my computer wouldn't turn on because A.) I hate change. ( I cried for days when I totaled my car because I didn't want to get a new one. But I do love you now dear Escape) and B.) All my pictures and music downloaded from the last year was still on here. I know, I know, I KNOW I should have backed up, in fact I am doing it as we speak but I didn't so I was sure all of the puppy and kitten pictures were gone. I needed those pictures to remind me how cute they were and why I couldn't resist them at the time. Sorry, I stray. SO my computer is dead, I am reminded of it when I walk into the office and panic mode sets in straight after meltdown hangover. But alas, my knight in shining armor came and rescued me and my computer today. Orville had it fixed and running faster than before by the time I arrived home from Payless. Apparently the power button got jammed up and upon close inspection of my monitor which is also a little caddywhampus, I think maybe the cats got too carried away running frantically from the weather radio all day yesterday. At least that is my story and I am sticking to it. I SO need a webcam to witness the destruction that occurs when not at home. Anyways, thanks Orville, you rock! I am backing up my computer right now and am a much happier person. Except for giant touchdown Jesus made of butter. You will be missed.

A woman's right to TV

Well in honor of tonight, I thought I would talk about my favorite tv shows:
In case you haven't heard, Season Three of True Blood starts tonight!! I have only been a Trubie for a little over a year, I can thank my sister-in-law. She got me hooked on it when she came up to help me pack to move. She also got me hooked on a variety of other HBO and Showtime shows, including US of Tara, Nurse Jackie (though I was a little disappointed in S2), and Dexter. She made me wonder what I use to watch before HBO and Showtime....well here are some examples:
Deadliest Catch: (Love, love, love, the Time Bandit, plus Andy lives in Indiana, plus Neil has a JRT)
The Office: (that's what she said)
The Community: (How can you not love Joel McHale, he made Chevy Chase funny again!)
Parenthood
Scrubs (though sadly it is over)
Glee: (I love to re-live the good times of my high school)
Survivor: eh, it is just habit now
Justified: (I love me some Timothy Oliphant)
Project Runway (really makes me want to learn how to sew)
The Soup (not TMZ!)
Destination Truth (Josh Gates, will you marry me??)
Ghost Hunters (I am a skeptic, but I do believe now)
So You Think You Can Dance? (Love how some of the choreographers danced on the MJ tribute)
and then some of my guilty pleasures...(dont judge me)
America's Next Top Model : I like the pictures...and Tyra cause she crazy!
Any of the Real Housewives though Orange County is by far the best
Kel on Earth
The City and Hills
Kendra and Kardashians, because they make me feel smart.
I don't make a point to watch the Jersey Shore but if I happen to land on it, by golly it is like a train wreck, you can't look away! How often do you actually get to see STDs be invented?? It is science in the making.
Any RR/RW challenges, I mean, someday, someone is going to get knocked up on that show.
Secret Life of An American Teenager....now I feel I must explain. It is like a lifetime movie, you have to watch it through to the end. I thought it would be closer to a cheesey "after school special" but man, those kids are sluts!
I am not proud of some of my choices but I love them anyway. Plus I have a right to watch TV.
Team Eric.

A woman's right to being single.

Many may wonder what made me want to start my blog. I need a place to vent. I know my friends and family are sick of hearing me so I decided I would make it a choice on whether or not to listen, er, read me.
So my first vent to follow:
Have you seen that episode of Sex and the City about a Woman's right to shoes? That episode has been continually coming to my mind since thursday. I am the only single woman of my age in my workplace. I usually have no complaints about that, generally it wouldn't make any difference if I was single, but after a round of home repairs, some changes at work, and a meeting with my boss, it has been made painfully aware to me.
Scene one: I stay home to get my air-conditioner fixed because it literally almost caught my house on fire (seriously that is what the technician said). I am the one who has to stay home, there is no one else who can do it. I get suggested to me that I could let the man in, lock the animals in a room, and go to work. How about NO.
Scene two: There has been an epidemic of late days lately. My hours are 7:30-4pm. As is everyone else on my team. However, if a day runs late, I do not have kids to be picked up at day care or ball practice, or a life therefore it is assumed that I can stay until said day is finished. Not cool. I have dogs which are close to kids except they don't wear diapers. They crap and pee on my floor, get on my kitchen table (recently discovered), and would like some attention. But that doesn't matter. I can stay late, I don't have kids.
Scene three: Don't judge me because I watch TV, and lots of it. Don't roll your eyes when I make conversation regarding TV. There are others out there who do watch it, and enjoy it. It may come back to the point that you have kids and don't have time to watch tv, but I have friends with kids who still watch tv, so don't use that excuse. And don't judge me because I have cable.

So my POINT is, as a single person, I still have rights. In some ways, I should have more rights. I have no one else to share the responsibility of home ownership with...NO ONE. If something arises at my house, I am the only one who has to figure out when it can be fixed and how it is going to be repaired. Which means, I stay home. On the downside, I also get the joy of paying for it on one income. I also have the right to leave work on time. Did I mention it is just me?? There is no one who can let my dogs out for me, stop by the bank, go to the doctor, go grocery shopping, or mow my lawn. I love kids! In no way am I saying there is anything wrong with kids. But just because I choose not to have them, doesn't make me less of a person. It does not give anyone the right to assume that I can stay late because I don't have to make it to daycare.
So back to the episode of SATC. I have the right to pay for cable, leave work on time, stay home for repairs, and own nice things. I pay for them.
And as a side note: Why aren't there family sick days that include animal sicknesses?? I definitely don't consider staying home shampooing the carpet and rushing my dog outside for explosive diarrhea a "vacation." I guess maternity leave for a new puppy would definitely be out of the question.

I want to make it obvious to all who happen upon this blog that I LOVE kids and I do not believe that dogs and kids are equal. :) It is just my way of making a point about how ridiculous things have become at work.