Bad days. Everyone has them. How you choose to deal with the bad days is a different story? Sometimes you just need to have a tantrum. Yes, I am an adult, and I still have tantrums. These tantrums usually occur in the privacy of my own house and are immediately followed by crying and then a huge sense of relief.
Lets just say that all the atmospheric pressures have been ideal for the impending tantrum. I have been getting up early and staying late for work, back pain, and humidity. It was only a matter of time before I found my self in the midst of tantrum land. What pushed me over the edge was my computer freezing up and stopping last night. All I really wanted to do was get on here and post a happy blog, something which to cheer me up and not involve bitching about something....but the computer was the last turn on the way to meltdown land.
What is an adult woman's version of a tantrum?? Mine usually involves throwing something (soft and not breakable) and about 24 hours of inner dialogue lashing out at complete strangers. For example I wanted to turn and yell something about personal space at the lady standing 2 inches away from me in Payless today. What was she in such a hurry for?? SHE WAS BUYING FUNNOODLES. 2 of them. But she proceeded to stand on top of me and sigh while I paid for my three items. Anyhoo, instead of yelling the obscenities at her that were floating around in my head, I just turned and glared at her. I am pretty sure my glares are very noneffective. I doubt they are the withering, crawl-back-into-the-hole-from-whence-you-came-from look which I feel I am portraying....probably more like a stink eye that goes unrecognized (Delilah would be so disappointed in me). Ugh. I wish when I feel myself happen unto these moods, I could deal with them like an adult. But that whole idea flies right out the window, so I at least attempt to wait until I am in private to melt-down. The ideal way (in my mind) to deal with these moods would be similar to a character I played on stage in The Nerd. She would deal with stress by putting plates inside her purse and beating them with a hammer. It was very effective and a great way to relieve stage fright. How could you not love beating the crap out of a plate in front of a cafeteria full of people?? But that isn't so handy now. I am not going to put one of my Mickey Mouse plates (yep, I said Mickey mouse) inside my Coach purse and break it. Not to mention, the lack of audience may let me down too. So my meltdown goes as follows, I throw something non-breakable (learned that lesson before) at a door, stomp around the house, cry, and go to bed. Not mature, but effective. This relieves the initial tension of said tantrum though I must say the inner dialogue with idiot strangers may continue for a day or two. (Aren't people just getting dumber?!?!?!) I also find working alone (if at work) doing simple tasks like prepping a room for surgery helps as well. I do tend to focus on the most minute things when doing this though, like the 100ft long data cable that I untangled and wiped clean of blood and contrast today. I am sure it will be a big ball of Christmas vacation lights again tomorrow but it looked so pretty when I left today. Of course this was after my mini meltdown at work when I couldn't win against a stupid portable cage, which to find out, was not my own dumbassness. No one can move the portable cage without help. Either way, I had my mini meltdown in private and accomplished clean surgery room and data cable only to walk into my office and see my corpse of a computer sitting there. Which re-instates the panic. Did I not mention the panic when my computer died? Yeah see, I panicked when my computer wouldn't turn on because A.) I hate change. ( I cried for days when I totaled my car because I didn't want to get a new one. But I do love you now dear Escape) and B.) All my pictures and music downloaded from the last year was still on here. I know, I know, I KNOW I should have backed up, in fact I am doing it as we speak but I didn't so I was sure all of the puppy and kitten pictures were gone. I needed those pictures to remind me how cute they were and why I couldn't resist them at the time. Sorry, I stray. SO my computer is dead, I am reminded of it when I walk into the office and panic mode sets in straight after meltdown hangover. But alas, my knight in shining armor came and rescued me and my computer today. Orville had it fixed and running faster than before by the time I arrived home from Payless. Apparently the power button got jammed up and upon close inspection of my monitor which is also a little caddywhampus, I think maybe the cats got too carried away running frantically from the weather radio all day yesterday. At least that is my story and I am sticking to it. I SO need a webcam to witness the destruction that occurs when not at home. Anyways, thanks Orville, you rock! I am backing up my computer right now and am a much happier person. Except for giant touchdown Jesus made of butter. You will be missed.
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