It has been awhile since I have been on here, things are just too darn crazy! I am still adjusting to the sleep schedule and then I was sick which moved my sleep schedule to sleeping ALL.THE.TIME. Thankfully my doc didn't stick me on any antibiotics but that caused a huge delay in recovery. I am over the worst of it but still lethargic as can be. Luckily the rain and the storms have made for the dogs avoiding outside too.
There has been a lot going on recently and let's see if I can sum it up while I wait for my nails to dry (I blame Tami on my new found obsession for nail polish).
I have had a lot on my mind recently. It has ranged from "can I handle working another job?" to "Can I get rid of Miss Tess?" I know that leaves a lot of questions.
Well I had offered to work part-time awhile ago at the Clinic that I left to go to Purdue. I figured I could do the same as I did before, the equivalent of working a saturday albeit on my "weekend" which is the days off I have during the week. I failed to take into consideration my inability to say no to picking up extra shifts and over-working myself. I did my first shift a couple of days ago and it was great to be back in the saddle again, especially doing dentals, which I LOVE! But I was exhausted, luckily my dogs were too since they spent the day at day care. I know it will take some getting use to, but hopefully this is something I can swing. Fingers crossed.
In the process of all the job shuffling I still have the inevitable lack of confidence. I guess when you are "honorably discharged due to Medical conditions" that seems to take a huge chunk out of your professional ego. I am ALWAYS paranoid. I over analyze everything I hear, I make myself sick everytime I have an evaluation, and I am always looking over my shoulder, feeling like I am in some type of competetion. I know I am not because I am not trying to compete with anyone, and I know none of this is justified....(or is it?) but rational thinking, when it comes to this, is just not a strength of mine. How long will it take me to get over this?? Probably never. But I am hoping my confidence will start to increase as soon as I quit listening to other people, especially ones that I can't always trust to have my best interest in mind. As I am writing this out, I realize how completely stupid this all sounds, but there is no one in my mind to tell me that.
Finally my sweet Tess. I have newish neighbors (I just met them but they have been there awhile). One of them use to be a dog trainer so I employed his skills to see what he could do with Tess. Tess took up with him faster than I have ever seen her with a stranger. I was thoroughly impressed. Later on he brought his partner over to see what he thought of Tess, well it was AMAZING. They were all in the backyard and Tess went right up to him and sat down and nudged to be petted. Never met this guy before in her life. Now I am thinking, well....they can give her more attention and discipline then I can and they were willing to take her so we set up a trial run this past tuesday night for her to spend the night with her possible new dads. Needless to say my door bell rang 30minutes later with him standing there and my poor sweet Tess shaking like a leaf. I guess I am stuck with the girl, apparently she sat in the corner and shook like a leaf and cried. It was worth a try, granted I was having mixed emotions on getting rid of her, but all in all, I guess the decision was ultimately made for me. Dad will have to take her when he retires.
Well that is some quick rambling of all that has been going on recently. It does feel good to have it all out in writing. I hope everyone is safe after these last rounds of storms and my prayers are with those that were hit the hardest....Joplin, Minneapolis, Texas and right here in Indiana.
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