Wow. Thanks everyone!

All I can say is thanks to the multitude of people that have emailed me, texted me, and called asking how my procedure was yesterday. It really makes you realize, yet again, who the good people are out there. This is the second time in less than a month that I have had that epiphany. See I have work friends and co-workers. Sadly the co-workers are the people that I actually share a boss with, share a building with, see every day. They have said or done nothing throughout this last month when it came to the many stressors in my life. Then there are my work friends. You guys rocks. These work friends have texted me, emailed me, FB-d me within days, even hours, of my procedure and my brother's procedures. This doesn't even include all of my friend- friends who I know have been sending up prayers for both me and my brother. It makes me thankful and sad. Thankful for all the support, and sad for all of the clear lack of support. On to my results:
Well the prep, I must say, has improved greatly since the 4 years since I have last had one. Now the stuff you drink to induce AP (ass piss, the only true way to describe it) has no taste whatsoever. You just mix it with some gatorade and down it. Now not only do you not have to force yourself to drink anything claimed to have a "new and improved ginger lemon flavor" but you also hydrate yourself at the same time. This procedure was scheduled for the afternoon so I decided to forgo the sleep little and be really tired for the procedure and opted for the sleep as much as possible through the prep. THis may or may not have contributed to the mass amounts of propofol they had to give me to keep me under. Just call me MJ (Too soon?). I do remember asking the nurse how much they gave me and then comparing myself to a sheep (see mom I do remember!). So the prep went with few hitches. Just some extreme nausea in the morning, but who really wants to drink 32oz of gatorade at 5am?? Made it to the Surgery center, got some super cool nurses (compared Jack/Rat pups and their idiosyncracies), and got ready to go back into surgery when the doc came in to talk to me. The doctor ended up being mildly upset that I didn't have another stool sample before the procedure but I distinctly remember asking the girl who called me with my BW results and she said not to worry about it. Anyhoo, they roll me into the sx suite and I can still hear the doctor complaining that this was not his way of doing things. (does he realize that I am not asleep yet?) THe procedure is over in 20 minutes. He sees nothing of concern suchs as Crohns or colitis and he took numerous biopsies. Now, if you have ever had a colonoscopy, you know that they blow air into the colon to get a good look, and that air must leave the colon....... Anyway, I am sorry mom, they positioned you on the wrong end of the recovery room. I even remember referring to the term my SIL and I made up in South Carolina(?) which is a FWB (fart with benefits). Long story about the term to be told at a later date. I didn't see my mom when I mentioned the FWB (she got the other end) but I am hoping I didn't embarass her. So I end up talking to the recovery nurse a lot (meanwhile all I wanted to do was go back to sleep) and then I am on my way home. This is where my temper gets the best of me (if mom actually read this, she would agree and I am sorry). We got home and mom goes to let the dogs out while I rummage for something to eat when she comes in telling me that Tess is loose. Now if you know Tess, she is a notorious jumper and has to be on a runner and since she is a rescue, she is also very scared of change. So she wouldn't come to mom in the closed porch so mom tries to get dudley out so she has a better chance of catching Tess when Tess bolts for the squirrels that have been harassing her and scales the fence (at least I know that a taller fence would be a waste of money). I go outside when mom tells me Tess is loose, then the temper starts. Yep I am pissed. I just got home from being violated, my stomach hurts, I am hungry but don't know what I want, and now i have to chase my dog down. I finally catch her on the front porch where I ring the door bell to have mom open the door. No answer. Therefore i have to carry the 40lb dog to the back door and finally get her in where I proceeded to then go to the bathroom, residual AP, and yell at mom. I figure it is in everyones best interest at this point if I sleep off my anger. Some say never go to bed angry. I go to bed angry when I know that my anger is completely misdirected and just a side effect of my misery for the last 24hours. I woke up happier, not happy, just happier, still in pain and hungry.
Later in the evening I start to notice the that I am experiencing one of the side effects that the nurse told me to call if I have. So I call, my doctor is the one who has to be paged, and never hear from him. I go to bed, since the side effect doesn't get any worse and wake up this morning ready for the many errands my mom and I have planned only to realize that I am in a lot of pain. Still. Stupid Biopsies. I call the doctor again, no reply until 3:30 this afternoon, Mom and I ended up watching Billy the Exterminator marathon, while I lay on the couch fuming. See in my head I think the doctor is still ticked that I didn't turn in the stool sample he wanted and thus is taking it out on me. Also I am paranoid that he thinks I am making this all up, since that seems to be what a lot of other people think (see Co-workers) and of course my paranoia soon turns to frustration then anger. But I get a call back, some medicine to get me through the pain, and an appointment for friday which is also when the biopsy results should be back. Hopefully some answers soon and if my doctor is mad at me, he is over it by then. If not, then I will rat out who told me not to take the sample in, even though it should be documented in the chart. IF this turns out to be a spastic colon then I will have some thinking to do....job wise. So there you have it, my last couple of days in a nutshell, thanks again to EVERYONE, and to be continued.
And a note to poor dying cancer boy. We do need a family vacation, and Julie should always get you a pepsi with ice placed in the cup with love (wasn't that in your vows?).

Matchbox Twenty "How Far We've Come"

My new theme song?? I think so.

I was watching movies tonite and this song was on it. I remember how awesome they are and how wonderful this song is. Now some would say that I am biased because I met them, and Rob Thomas sang to me. Now Tom should back this part up. I can understand him not believing that Prince was singing to me at Deercreek (especially since we were in the lawn) but not only did Rob sit across from me at a picnic table and sing to me but he also recognized us in the crowd and smiled (Tom you swear you saw it too!). I have a picture of me with M20 but it isn't on the computer (yep that was back in the day with real cameras). I did find this copy of it that Tom must have sent me (because he cropped himself out of it.) It was one of the best concerts I have ever been to.

*(Notice I was not dressed to impress since SOMEONE lied to me all day that we weren't going to be able to meet the band.)

I did it!!!!

Mowed the lawn that is....yesterday. It is the little things in life.

Well my refrigerator is stocked for either a helluva frat party or for the prep for my proceduce. Unfortunately it is the latter. It is busting at the seams with jello and gatorade. Plus the jello is on the top shelf so when you open it, the light casts a pretty rainbow color. Did I mention it is the little things?

Not much new on this end. Finally down to the finals days of the countdown to my procedure. I can't believe how excited I am to get this done, get answers, and to move on with my life (while enjoying it!) I am just hoping I get some answers that will give me a clear path as to what to do with my job. I love the job, I really do, but the coworkers are really sucking ass right now (sorry dad).

So when I am stressed, I clean, and when I am going to have company, I clean. (The week of Tom's procedure I hand scrubbed the kitchen floor with a sponge.) Therefore my house is spotless at 8pm on a saturday night. Now it use to be my brother and my theory that getting as little sleep as possible prior to the procedure helps you embrace the drug haze and therefore have a great nap and no awareness as to what is happening to you. Unfortunately, I have nothing else to do, I mean there are plenty of things I could do like clean out some closets and clean my car, but I am lacking the motivation (see title of blog). So I may just watch movies or torture my animals some more.

He's a sheep, actually a big dumb dog dressed as a sheep. He doesn't care one bit which makes it even more hilarious. Well enough rambling on my end. I am sure there will be plenty of more rambling this weekend....ba dum dum.

Yep....I'm petty, but I am okay with that.

I just wrote an email to my BFF and I realize how petty I can be. Hopefully she still loves me. Sometimes being petty is just human nature, or at least that is my story and I am sticking to it.
Mainly just got on here to add to my Christmas/B-day list:
I-pod: Apparently ordering one from Honk Kong may seem like a good idea (and a cheap one) but results in the headphones only working in one ear. Heh.
Another day at the Tech Conference tomorrow. What are the odds that I can get out of the house in the first outfit I try on, sans dog and cat hair, after a day of not taking my stomach meds? I will let you know.

TV...it's whats for dinner

This week is a great week of premieres as was last week (which I was totally unaware of some of the shows.) Let's list them.
Glee
Parenthood
Survivor
Boardwalk Empire
Dexter (wo0hoo!!)
House
ANTM
Community
Office
Hoarders
Along with the oldies but goodies:
Jershey Shore
Some new challenge show on MTV between Real World and Road Rules
Fantasy Factory

I am sure I have missed some, but I am not exactly on the top of my game right now. I am still struggling with whatever funk is in my stomach. I wake up periodically (more often than not) with fevers of 104. I can't believe I am about to say this but I can't wait for my colonoscopy. At least I will have some answers as to what is going on in there. I can't wait until I can get back into a routine of exercising, eating better (right now I eat whatever sounds good, because not much does), household tasks...and right now my greatest nemesis: the lawn. I never really minded mowing the lawn but since I get winded from walking up the stairs from my basement, the thought of pushing a mower around my yard is exhausting. And that is just the thought, not the activity. Not to mention the backyard includes the obstacle course of mole paths, the random missed dookey, and Phoebe constantly attacking the lawn mower. )But I do keep the dogs outside because it is better than them loose inside unattended.) Oh and the backyard is an ankle breaking risk as well, since the moles have taken over, Phoebe has decided to try to catch them by digging, which would be great if she didn't get so excited about digging that she forgets the overall goal and I end up with just a crater. All of these things add up to me not getting anywhere anytime soon with the lawn care. Why oh why do I have the retired guy next door who mows his in pretty patterns and twice a week.....
Prayers for the Bible family continued!!!

Worst friend ever.

Or at least that is what I feel like. Apparently being sick makes me the worst friend ever, along with the worst house-keeper, and the worst dog mom. So I apologize to everyone for my lack of particapation in activities and to my dogs (Dudley is the only one who is old enough to read this) for my lack of enthusiasm. My body hates me and is taking it out on all of you. Answers soon I hope!

Why.am.I.awake.

Reason 924 why I don't like these antibiotics: It is 5am and I am still awake. Yep folks, see there is a small window where the side effects allow me to sleep and where they give me the blinkies. I missed that window of sleep. Today is going to be a long day because sure as shit my pets are all asleep yet I am wide awake. That means zero chance of nap today unless I give them rawhides, and homey ain't playing that game again.

My birthday/christmas list continued....

*A sewing machine and sewing lessons. See I have all these t-shirts from high school that I want to keep but of course my fat ass can't fit into them now therefore I would eventually like to be capable to make a quilt out of these t-shirts.

*These (you can thank my SIL for sending the link of these to me): They are Dexter coasters that look like his blood slides and contained in a blood slide box. Available at www.showtime.seenon.com

Well I am going to attempt to sleep again......

My Birthday

Yep, it is coming up. Less than a month away. What do I want for my birthday?? I have an on-going list in my head. Since I am broke a majority of the time, I always see something I would like to have and think "I should ask for that for my birthday or Christmas." So now I am going to keep track of them. Also if any of you have any comments regarding some of my requests, feel free to let me know!

*A Dyson. My vaccuum is slowly petering out. I will post a pic below of why it doesn't work as well as it should and also why I am hesitant to get a Dyson. I am pretty sure a 5yr warranty doesn't cover dog attacks.


*Anything Nightmare before Christmas. I know. It is a given. But Disneyshopping.com has some really cool new Nightmare accessories that would go great in my Nightmare themed den/guest room at some point. ( I am going to move the futon upstairs when the rat dies. Now I don't mean to be heartless, but this rat needs to be in a nursing home. She walks like an old lady, she has one squinty eye, and she has a head tilt. Why don't I euthanize her?! Because she still takes her treats like a champ and Phoebe LOVES her. See below. )
This greeting between dog and rat happens every morning and evening.

*Money for the florida trip.

*A smartphone. Yes I have jumped on that bandwagon. I want to FB and look up things on my phone.

*Or a laptop to utterly decrease my exercise. If I get a laptop then I will have no need whatsoever to get up and walk into the den. But on the upside, I might blog more. :)

*Coach purse. A given. Always a given. I think I am going to get one every 5 years, so I have until 35 to save up for my next one.

*Beauty and the Beast. Love that movie and super excited it is FINALLY coming out of the vault.


To be continued.....

House cont.

So bloodwork came back with increased eosinophils. No suprise.

Wanna know my theory? Since my c-diff has gone so long untreated it can cause abscesses in the intestines. These abscesses are not being penetrated by the antibiotics, hence me not getting better. Everytime one of said abscesses burst, I get the severe stomach pain, high fever, and poo razor blades. This lasts approximately 2 days. The thought of pus filled pockets in my intestines is rather gross but at this point, anything that includes a diagnosis will make me feel better. Yes, I am one of those people my doctor hates because of my theories.

So if any of you readers out there come up with a better diagnosis or a correct one, you win cleaning my house! It is disgusting. Seriously, I just had the energy to shower for the first time in three days and I am exhausted. EXHAUSTED. The only way I was able to run Phoebe to the vet yesterday was because I was running on pure adrenaline. I seriously thought she was dying. Muscous membranes the color of paper, not a good thing. She is fine, kinda lethargic and has been snuggling with me all day...probably because of the heat I am radiating.

Emily said when I called "why is she bringing her in, she doesn't even like that dog" and yes, that was true at one time. I was looking for a replacement for Sam and Deli, they were the wonderful dogs that made me like small dogs. I am never going to find those dogs again, but I do love Phoebe. She has dug, wiggled, tornadic-ed (new word) her way into my heart. She is not Deli, nor Sammy, not even a mini version of Dudley. She is my comedian and sweetheart and inadvertant trouble maker...and she is mine...for a long time I hope. Now enough sappy rambling.

I am scheduled for a colonscopy in a week, woohoo. I am actually rather excited to get some answers. If you have never had one, this pretty much sums it up: Enjoy!

http://www.miamiherald.com/2009/02/11/427603/dave-barry-a-journey-into-my-colon.html

Let's play house!

No, not the you be the mommy and I be the daddy and the dogs are the kids house, but the House, MD house. I am going to present the case to you.
33 year old female presents with high fever, inappetance, antibiotic resistant c-diff, lethargy, and constant painful diarrhea. Go.

V_V

(Those were supposed to look like fangs in case you were wondering.)
The True Blood finale was last night...not only was it AWESOME but it also left all of us a little confused.
SPOILERS!!SPOILERS!!!SPOILERS!!!
Two fang ups for the following:
Godric (love him!)
Tara's Haircut
Crusty Russel
Bitchy Sookie
Bill admitting the truth

The many, many, many questions that Alan Ball left us with:

Lala's boytoy is a witch?? I can't type boytoys' name because then it would look weird stating he is a witch and I just might go to hell.
Where did Sookie go?
Where did Tara go?
Did Sam really shoot Tommy?
What was with the doll in Hoyt and Jessica's house?
Is Bill going to live?
How did Eric get out of the cement?
WTF is Jason doing?
Is Calvin done?
And probably the most asked two questions:
Are we going to see Eric running naked down the road?
Is Alcide coming back?
Now I know it seems maybe a little petty to talk about a show on my blog. But on sunday nights, TrueBlood is my life. For one hour, I am completely engrossed in something, no work fuss, no family worries, nothing.
Last night I even tried to distract the dogs with rawhides. Epic Fail. The dogs were distracted. Then they distracted me last night by Phoebe vomiting all night and Dudley waking me up to go out. They distracted me when I can home too. It is bad when you can smell the explosion before you even open the door....SO I open the kitchen door to find....nothing. The dogs are fine, the floor is clean. I am confused. I think there is no possible way that dog farts can permeate the house that badly. I have known some human farts to do so but not dog farts. As I go to let Tess out, my heart drops. The baby gate that keeps Phoebs and Dud in the kitchen is down....I continue to follow the stink to find the buttsplosions in the living room. Large. Rank. A good couple of hours old. Ugh. My house still smells like a latrine even with a candle burning that is so strong it make my eyes water.
Just heard from my SIL. Tom's cancer is Seminoma testicular cancer. The lesser of two evils. Radiation is still a possibility, he meets with an oncologist next week. My prayers and thoughts go out to the Bible family.

Still here.

Yep, I am still here. I worked 5 hours this morning after spending all day yesterday vomiting. One would think that someone would offer to work for me this morning instead but no one understands the shit that I deal with at work. Everyone still believes that I am making this up. If I were to make this up, damn I am very committed. I not only, make myself go to various doctors (spend money), put my job in jeopardy, feel like shit 90% of the time, and now I got $700 antibiotics. I am SO good. Who else would put some much work and effort into a fake story?!? I guess I am grumpy, these meds make me very irritable. You can ask the dogs. I find myself leaving the house to do ANYTHING because the dogs and cats are driving me crazy. Hopefully the next two weeks go by quickly because if my mood continues like this, I am pretty sure I am going to bitch slap someone. Not sure who, but someone.
This week, as most of you all know, has been a doozey. Again I thank, thank, thank everyone for the prayers. It is sad that it is situations like this that show who your true friends are. I have people I have known for less than a year asking me how my family is and there are people i have know for years...like 7 to be exact....and have not said a word to me..no email, no text, nothing. That sucks. Put your pettiness aside and look at the bigger picture for once. I could go one about how the holier than thou attitudes only go so far but I am not sure if that is the medicine talking or the truth. Somehow it is hitting pretty below the belt in my mind. Remember folks, people will never cease to amaze you. Not in a good way either.
Family update: Tom was doing well the last time I spoke with him. He seemed in good spirits and was getting a bit of cabin fever. Always a positive. Grandad had little complications with his surgery and is home. Grandma Peterson ( I definitely know where my "mean as a snake" attitude comes from) got a nurse fired from the nursing home. For good reason but still I have to laugh. I bet very few night shift nurses expect someone (who can't walk mind you) to tell them to get out of their room but she did. And she won. Again, I want to be her when I grow up.
I guess the moral of this post is that my feelings are hurt. I shouldn't be suprised but I am. By one person in particular. (chances are if you are reading this, you aren't that person) But I will continue to pray, for my family, for my health, for patience, for the right opportunity to come along, for my friends, and for the strength to forgive (the biggest challenge of all). Everything happens for a reason, I guess I will just wait for this one to play out.
9/11...Never forget.

Updates

Even though I am grumpy, nauseous, and tired I still would like to update everyone and thank everyone for their mutlitude of prayers today.

Tom made it through surgery fine, they believe it was localized, he didn't do too hot with the anesthesia but is now home resting (or unconscious from pain meds and lack of sleep this week) and will get a follow-up in two weeks. Biopsy results from the tumor come back by monday at the latest.

Grandma is pissed that the doctor only let her put 25% of her weight on the leg but is otherwise right on schedule. Next re-check is in two weeks. I think in her head she was going to be up and walking around by the end of the day. Poor dad, pissed grandma is never fun, but I guess he has had plenty of years to deal with it.

Me. Well I got the antibiotics and they make me extremely nauseous. I figured at this price I should be shitting gold or puking diamonds. It doesn't help that this cooler weather has made the natives restless and whenever I fall asleep on the couch I either wake up with a Terror tap dancing on my chest or Tess biting my butt. Poor ole Dudley just snuggles me. He is a great dog. See the picture below of the girls playing and Dudley enjoying the fact that for once he isn't Phoebe's chew toy.

Let the grumpiness begin....

I didn't plan on being grumpy today, but does anyone ever plan on being grumpy? It started with not sleeping well and then waking up in a cold sweat. To be followed by a day at work that consisted of me walking around like a zombie lost in my own head. Not good. I need to be distracted this week. I still have this large feeling of helplessness, that I should be anywhere but here, like Missouri or Ohio, not sitting on my ass at home. But guess what I am writing this from? My ass at home. Then to make things better/worse, I get some test results back from the doctor. I have C-diff.....AGAIN. Third times a charm. I say third times a charm because now I get to try some wonderful different antibiotics that cost $700. See, I was concerned the insurance wasn't going to pick any up and as the CVS lady was telling me the cost, she nicely pointed out that my insurance picked up $1800. $700!!!! That is more than my house payment....seriously...it is. So I guess I am going to have to sell the cats...

$2 a bushel

Prayers, prayers and more prayers.

This past week has been a whirlwind. All I can do right now is ask for any who reads this to pray for the family this week.
Tuesday: Mom and Dad head to Missouri
Wednesday: Grandma Peterson gets up on her newly repaired leg for the first time since surgery.
Thursday: Tom has surgery for his testicular cancer
Friday: Grandad has eye surgery.
Hopefully sometime this week I get a buttload (no pun intended) of test results back regarding my digestion issues.
More to follow.....